


slam dunk

by pipercase



Category: South Park
Genre: M/M, cute boyfriends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2020-12-16 08:13:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21033065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pipercase/pseuds/pipercase
Summary: Kyle is his school’s star basketball player, and Cartman is the most supportive boyfriend of all time.





	slam dunk

**Author's Note:**

> dedicated to my beautiful girlfriend

Cartman didn’t know a goddamn thing about basketball. He and his friends had played it a lot during their childhood, but even then Cartman just spent most of the time completely disregarding the rules of the game. Even then, he really only played the sport to be closer to Kyle. 

Basketball with Kyle had always been fun. He’d get right up close to Cartman, trying to block him or get the ball from him or whatever it was he was trying to do. Cartman still had no idea. All that mattered to him at the time was Kyle’s skin brushing against his. 

Now, thank God, Cartman no longer had to actually  _ play _ basketball in order to score an opportunity to gaze at Kyle in all his glory. It was expected that the crowd stare at the handsome, talented, star of the basketball team. It was even more expected if he was your boyfriend. 

“Kyle is so hot.” Cartman said with an honest to god dreamy sigh. 

He, Stan, and Kenny were sitting amongst the crowd at that nights’s basketball game, and Cartman hadn’t shut up the entire time. He turned around in his seat to address the man and woman sitting behind him. 

“You see that redhead? That one right there? Number fifteen? Yeah, that’s my boyfriend. No big deal or anything.” 

The couple merely blinked at him, but Cartman didn’t appear discouraged. He turned back around, deciding to focus his attention instead on his friends. Stan braced himself for the worst, but Kenny only looked curious. 

“Doesn’t Kyle look good, you guys?” Cartman asked. “Last night, he came over to my house and it was so amazing. We totally made sweet love.” 

“Dude, gross!” Stan exclaimed.

He’d come to terms with Cartman and Kyle’s romantic relationship after some time, but he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to cope with the idea of their sexual one. The idea of Kyle and Cartman doing anything remotely not safe for work was pretty revolting. 

“That’s really sweet and all,” Kenny said, “but Kyle would fucking murder you if knew you’d told us that.” 

That was probably true, Cartman thought. Kyle didn’t seem to like it when other people knew the details of their relationship. Cartman couldn’t understand that. He took every opportunity he could to remind everyone that he was dating Kyle Broflovski. 

In fact, his Instagram profile was dedicated mostly to pictures of his boyfriend. Kyle smirking proudly after a successful debate team competition, Kyle carrying his little brother on his back, and, of course, Kyle playing basketball. 

Cartman couldn’t help it. Being Kyle’s boyfriend had been his fantasy since middle school, when he would lock himself in his bedroom at night and write rambling diary entries about how much Kyle was driving him crazy just by existing. Back then, Cartman was able to convince himself that it was normal to want to write love songs about your worst enemy. I Hate Kyle Songs, he called them. 

Things were so much better now that he could talk openly about Kyle, and he took every opportunity in the world to do so. Last month, his math teacher had finally put her foot down and forbade him from bringing up his boyfriend in class again. It didn’t work. 

“Cartman, look!” Kenny said feverishly, snapping him out of his thoughts. 

Cartman zeroed back in on the events of the game and realized that Kyle had control of the ball. The look of intense concentration in his eyes created an electric sensation that ran along Cartman’s skin. 

“Yeah! Go Kyle! That’s my man!” He screamed at the top of his lungs. 

On the court, Kyle rolled his eyes and ducked his head before following through with the play. He jumped slightly off the ground to make a swift basket, and the crowd went crazy. Leave it to Cartman to designate himself as head cheerleader when Kyle was playing. 

“Hey,” Kenny had said once, “at least you never have to worry about him cheating on you. He’s head over fucking heels, Kyle.” 

Kyle had looked to the floor, shaking his head, but even then he knew it was true. It was sweet, honestly, even though Cartman could be a little intense sometimes. Like now, for instance, when he was gripping tightly onto Stan’s arm as he watched the game in captivation. 

Kyle didn’t have the ball anymore, and he watched as one of the better kids from North Park’s team dribbled it across the court. Just as Kyle began to follow the rest of his team in their opponent’s direction, the harsh shriek of a whistle brought him out of the game and into the real world. He glanced at the timer and felt a stab of disappointment when he realized that the game was over. At least his team had won. 

This fact was confirmed by Cartman’s voice, carrying a loud cheer above the buzz of the crowd as he raced to the bottom of the bleachers. Kyle was visibly sweat drenched and clearly exhausted, completely worn out from the game. None of this stopped his boyfriend from coming at him full speed. 

“You did so good, Kyle!” He cried, instantly throwing his arms around his boyfriend’s neck. 

Cartman was a lot to handle, but at the same time it was kind of nice how eager he was. Kyle didn’t stop the chubby arms that were draping themselves over him. 

“Would you even recognize a good game from a bad one?” He asked doubtfully. 

“Any game where you’re on the court is totally the best game ever.” Eric responded coyly, batting his eyes all the while. 

“Uh...good game, dude.” Stan butted in awkwardly, looking at Cartman warily out of the corner of his eye. 

He usually found himself at a loss for what to say to Kyle when Cartman was around, still too caught up in the weirdness of their relationship to continue his normal rapport with his best friend. Kenny kept assuring him that he’d eventually grow used to it, but he wasn’t so sure.

“Yeah, thanks.” Kyle said. “We still on for dinner tonight?” 

“I fucking hope so.” Kenny said, flinging an arm lazily over Stan’s shoulders. “I’m starving.” 

Kyle nodded. Somehow it had become part of his routine to head over to the diner with his friends after every basketball game, and he couldn’t remember if the idea had originally been Cartman’s or Kenny’s. 

“I’m more starving than you, Kenny.” Cartman said argumentatively. 

“No way, fatass.” Kenny replied with a disbelieving laugh. 

“Yeah-huh. Tell him, Kyle!” Cartman said. 

Kyle laughed. Cartman had developed this habit of looking to Kyle to defend him in every little altercation he got into. Being that this was Cartman, those happened a lot. 

“Considering you ate half of my curly fries and all of the ridiculous lunch your mom packed you today, I’m gonna have to side with Kenny.” He said. 

Cartman gave a petulant little frown, making Kyle laugh again. He noticed that Stan had taken out his wallet and was searching frantically through it, probably just in case Kenny didn’t have enough to foot his portion of the bill. Cartman forced his face close to Kyle’s, startling him as he looked for a kiss. 

“Hold on, dude. Wait a second. I have to go get a shower now.” Kyle said. “I’m all sweaty and gross.” 

“I don’t care!” Cartman insisted, yanking Kyle in by the back of his neck.

Kyle felt a squirm or discomfort, hoping that no one was paying any attention to them. Stan was pointedly not looking anywhere near them, and he hoped the rest of the crowded gym would follow suit. 

“You’re gonna care when I get sweat all over your new jacket.” Kyle pointed out, gently untangling himself from Cartman’s grip. 

“Hurry up and go get cleaned up, dude.” Kenny interrupted. “We want to get going.” 

“Right.” Kyle said apologetically. “I’ll just be a few minutes, guys. I’ll meet you outside.” 

He turned to leave, but he was kidding himself if he thought anything would be that easy. One of of Cartman’s pudgy hands stopped him, tugging at his green and white jersey. 

“Kyyyyleeee!” He whined. “Aren’t you gonna kiss me goodbye?” 

“I think that’s our cue to leave.” Kenny said, laughing at Stan’s involuntary sigh of disgust. 

Kenny led him away so they could go wait in the car, leaving the happy couple by themselves. Kyle groaned, becoming more embarrassed by the second. It wasn’t that he didn’t like kissing his boyfriend, but he hated when couples made public scenes out of their relationship. He leaned down to place a short, appeasing kiss on Cartman’s cheek.

“Thanks for coming to my game.” He said softly, speaking directly into Eric’s ear. 

Eric relished in the feeling of Kyle’s breath on his and the knowledge that the words were only meant for him. 

“Of course, Kyle. But a kiss on the cheek doesn’t cou—“

Kyle grabbed him by the side of his face, planting a kiss directly onto his lips and pulling away with a loud smacking sound. 

“You are so  _ obnoxious _ .” He said when he drew back, still cradling Cartman’s face. 

Cartman just smiled, his eyes going soft with love. Kyle felt his heart clench. God, he wished this feeling wasn’t so familiar. With hindsight, he could identify it as the same one he experienced every other he’d sacrificed something important for Cartman. 

The only difference was that his sacrifices use to pertain directly to his moral code, and now the only thing he was giving up was his policy against PDA. Still, it was obvious who his heart belonged to. 

“Happy now?” He asked. “Because I really need to go shower.” 

“More than happy. I might even let you try a sip of my milkshake tonight.” Cartman said, standing on his toes to steal another kiss. 

“Yeah, right.” Kyle said affectionately. “Like you’d ever in a million years share food with me. Aren’t you getting your beloved Triple Brownie Supreme shit?” 

“Love can make a man do crazy things, Kyle.” Cartman said with a shrug. “And don’t think I didn’t notice that you have my order memorized. Don’t take forever in the shower, okay?” 

He gave one more surprise kiss to Kyle’s nose before grinning widely, bouncing away with a wave. Kyle’s cheeks colored slightly as he watched him go, wondering when exactly he became this far gone. 

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t know how basketball works PLEASE forgive me


End file.
